I am suffused with memory. This time last year, I was waiting waiting waiting for baby to arrive. Time stretched with an elasticity I didn’t think possible. An hour felt like weeks. Everything hung suspended, magnified to startling detail.

Now…time has blurred. Not sped up but rendered meaningless as days and nights, weeks and months, blur together. I write down the day’s events so I can recall the details later. Life is now watercolor paint on canvas – with too much water seeping across the color. No noticeable lines or boundaries or shapes. Just…mottled color.

It IS colorful though. Bright, joyous, wonderful. There is no absence of color, despite the daily relentless exhaustion.

Hues of rose gold hair, sun-dappled floors, avocado cubes, turquoise pool water, pine green walks, pink cheeks, umber sweet potato mash, garnet post-bedtime wine, chocolate-colored eyes that match my own, delicate violet-blue veins, silver moonlight.

A beautiful blurred kaleidoscope of color.